Back on it and more determined than ever!

Wednesday, 26 December 2018

Having fallen out with my only real friend this year due to me stupidly trying to help her daughter I am now back to being on my own in my hectic life with my writing and gym being my only outlets. So sorry any readers you may be in for non stop rants. Today is Boxing Day. Christmas Eve Cameron (17) came back home for the forseeable future. We had kind of seen this coming for a while but how its happened really isnt helpful in the slightest. 

Elise has literally been hell lately… I kid you not i think i would actually rather teething and temper tantrums even non stop labours than dealing with her at the moment! So Christmas Eve Shaun drove to Fraserburgh to collect Cameron, he took Pheobe with him to try help a bit but being the time of year that it is that still left me with a million things to do and no real support. Credit where credit is due Elise did help by bathing the 4 little ones. 

While she bathed the kids i made cookies for Santa, sorted carrots for the...

Funerals and families

Thursday, 19 April 2018

So after driving 6 hours and Leticia getting car sick we finally arrived at ‘Ye Olde Tavern’ was a nice little hotel with good food and friendly service. Just a shame we were their for a funeral…. 

Naturally as with ALL family gatherings there was tension and people were uncomfortable. People including me were also made to feel crappy about themselves by family but thats nothing new. Unfortunately some feel the need to joke around and put down others to make themselves feel better!

So other than the normal horrible family drama stuff all went well. Grandmamar had a good turn out and it was emotional and personal as it should be. 

At least on the drive to mums (Portsmouth) Leticia wasnt sick but it was half the time in the car which probably helped a lot. 

Phoenix is now teething again so very stroppy and with the heat its really not fun bless him.

Mum went in for her operation this morning and i’ve now heard after a lot of hassle...

Last day of the holidays

Sunday, 15 April 2018

Thank god kids are back to school tomorrow because I seriously need to pack mine and the kids stuff to travel down South! Also need to put the fuel in my car but we are doing that after dropping kids in the morning. They are now all bathed and settling for bed. Wanting to get Michael a doctors appointment tomorrow as he’s complaining he can’t hear us properly so need his ears checked. Elise was arond his age when she became deaf but im sure its nothing related just think he has a bad wax problem. 

We went to my friend Emma’s today meanwhile Shaun gutted the living room. Been meaning to do under the sofa all week so am very pleased its done :)

Emma was looking at her family tree and it got me looking at mine again and its something I really would like to pursue and learn more about my heritage. Problem is sites like Ancestry and MyHeritage aren’t cheap :( 

I’m new to all this geneology stuff so any tips greatly apprieciated :)

Without tablets and a migraine not a good combo!

Friday, 13 April 2018

Not been having a great time of it past few days. Iv been without my tablets now for about 4 days. Im on Venlafaxine, 150 mg twice a day, a damn high dose. Without it I can’t really regulate my moods at all. It builds up really quickly and I can’t really control it. Venlafaxine's half-life is only 4 hours. Withdrawal effects appear within a day and included headaches, dizziness, and instability, with a sense of losing balance and intense anxiety. SO naturally things have been difficult in the house… 

I hate having to depend on tablets. I do hope that in the future I’ll be abe to come off them but I know I will always have severe issues with mood regulation and anxiety. It’s a horrible feeling, I hate the lack of control and the need to stop my actions but being entirely helpless to do so.

Papas Birthday

Sunday, 8 April 2018

Tomorrow would have been my Grandads birthday he died on Jennifer’s 2nd birthday. We called him Papas, my grandmother was Mamas. She always used to say they weren’t sure if they were a double pram or a pop group. I didn’t show it enough as an adult but they both meant the word to me and it hurts so much that they aren’t here and they never got to meet Phoenix. 

It makes me understand at least a little bit of how Shaun must feel because his mum never met any of our kids. 

Growing up my brother and I were almost always at ur grandparents. He actually moved in with them when he was 15. There wasn’t many weekends that one of us or both of us were there. In the mornings I would go into their bedroom in my PJs for our morning cup of tea and Papas would use his hair brush to brush my hair. He used to love brushing my hair.

Michael my oldest son is named after Papas he even has the ‘Burgess’ gaps in his teeth as Papas would tell me. I never got to be there with...


Thursday, 5 April 2018

So this afternoon Pheobe has the dentist. She has to have a filling… So shes been brushing her teeth most of the morning paranoid. Thanks to no heating in the kids room I ended up with Pheobe and Michael in with me and Phoenix last night. Needless to say we bought another plug in heater today. Last night was NOT fun at all! Snow is melting nicely can’t wait until its all gone and we can properly go out! 

Explaining the importance of brushing teeth to someone very likely to have autism is not easy for most! Trying to do it when you have autism yourself HELL! 

Anyone having difficulties with getting a child to do their teeth on autism spectrum take a look at this website

Building websites and creating things

Wednesday, 4 April 2018

So today I’ve spent the day helping a friend with his website learning a lot of new things and have decided that I may need a certificate of some sort in website building. So any suggestions greatly appreciated. It’s snowed again today and been rather cold so other than that haven’t got much done at all. Not so easy to go out in the snow with a wheelchair in tow….

Feeling much better though! Even made everyone poached eggs on toast for breakfast, something I haven’t had in ages! Easter has pushed me off the diet a little but still eating a lot better than I was. Also been looking at some other diet ideas and may tweak it a bit to fit all us adults in the house. 

Kids are crazy as ever, still not too bored with the egg hunts though so am utilising that daily still! Just wish I could take them somewhere but even Emma is now in England this week so not really anywhere suitable we can go :( Have decided however that I want to start sketching again too. So much to do...

Recovering Slowly

Tuesday, 3 April 2018

Well yesterday my migraine hit hard and I could move without waves of nausea luckily Shaun and Elise stepped in with the kids and I spent most of the day in bed. Still not brilliant today but a lot better than yesterday so I’m happy. Shaun’s currently having a time out in the bath and Elise, the kids and I are watching jungle book.

Being Autism awareness month and how much the kids and I like puzzles I made us two for autism. Other than that I havent really got much done at all. Still a bit fragile today so not moving about too much. 

Hoping it doesnt snow much more though as I’m meant to be driving Emma to Moira Anderson and to the airport at stupid o’clock… I’ve nearly been driving a year now but Shaun still like to take over if theres any extra complications like snow and ice where possible. Which to be honest is fine by me he has way more experience. Anyway soon I have to drive to England again but this will be the first time im not following anyone so its a...

Tasty Tasty Yum Yum Yum!!

Sunday, 1 April 2018

So dinner was AAAAMMMAAZZZINGGG! It was so tasty! For dessert I had made a strawberry apple and coconut crumble with custard. Shaun thinks I used too muc cinnamon but I love cinnamon and the kids seemed to enjoy it too! Out of twenty-six of the most popular herbs and spices in the world, cinnamon actually ranks #1 in terms of its protective antioxidant levels! It also has anti-diabetic, anti-microbial, immunity-boosting and potential cancer and heart disease-protecting abilities. I just love the sweet warmth to it personally. I never used to like cinnamon it was actually McDonalds apple pies that made me realise how yummy it is! Research also shows that another benefit of cinnamon’s protective antioxidant properties is they can help defend the brain against developing neurological disorders, such as Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s diseases. Pretty impressive really and so very tasty.

Its quite amazing the health benefits you find in the foods, herbs and spices that have become...

Easter FunDay Sunday

Sunday, 1 April 2018

Been Crazzzzzy …. After spending 2 hours last night cutting out about 250 colourful paper eggs for the kids to find and doing Easter bunny duties Elise and I went to bed. getting up this morning the kids were rather excitable to say the least. So I shut myself in the playroom with the paper eggs and sellotape…. Poor Pheobe I hid hers in some rather difficult places …. She shouldn’t have complained that it would be too easy and only take her 5 minutes …. 2 hours later she finally had found them all …. Our time cutting out was well worth the peace :) 

While they were busy hunting for silly bits of paper Shaun and I went to the kitchen to prepare the monumental feast we are having …. Anyone would literally think we were having a dinner party we’ve gone a bit overboard …. I can see bubble and squeak and veg soups in the near future! 

So obviously being a few of us in the house naturally we all have different tastes, luckily for us we bought our little ones...